The bridge only appears after you jump.

so I made a film.....

I made a short film last year and it was fantastic, but the process was also very scary. It all started when I was looking for a book in the main stacks of our library. There was such an aura in that place where the books were kept—airy and scary at the same time. I constantly felt like I was being watched, even though I knew I wasn’t. It was just something about the way the books are arranged, the way the columns sit, and the creepy desk in the corner that is used by no one. It makes you feel like something else is existing with you in that space.

So I asked if I could make a film there. I was told no. Then I asked again.

During the period when I kept petitioning to be allowed to make a film in this space, many times I tried to talk myself out of it because I felt like I wasn’t prepared—and I was right, I wasn’t. Not only did I not have a crew, I didn’t have a script. Well, at least not a complete script. I didn’t have a storyboard. I didn’t have a cast or crew. And for the first time in a long time, I was willing to continue even though I didn’t have anything ready.

I focused all my energy on convincing the school and the people involved to permit me to make a film in such a revered space. And I know there’s something about that—because at every point, particularly after I got my “yes” (and this was a week after I asked), things started sprouting out of nowhere.

For a while, I felt foolish asking anyone to collaborate but I knew if they wanted to be a part of this project, either as crew or cast, they would come so I continued. And then suddenly, people started wanting to be part of it. People started hearing through conversations. People started volunteering.

I did not have a microphone. I had only one camera—me and my Sony against the world. I didn’t have a lot of things. So I asked those who had these things, or who had the money to afford them, if I could borrow their equipment. And it worked. Little by little, everything I needed fell into place.

Of course, I was praying during this time, but it also taught me a lot about how the world aligns with your plans. This is something I’ve heard even outside of faith: you need to jump, and then the bridge appears. You can’t wait for the bridge to appear before you jump.

If I had told myself, let me get my crew, my cast, and all these people before I petition in front of this board to let me use that space, I would’ve spent a lot of time looking for people. It was only after they agreed—after they gave me a schedule that worked for them—that I even found these people. And even though that put me on a tight deadline, it got the wheels turning.

It was almost as if the world was in agreement with me—that as I needed these things to be done by a particular time, God and the forces that be would help me get everything aligned.

So 2026 must be a year for me to jump. I encourage all of us to jump.

I know people always say “do it scared,” which I definitely agree with and live by, even when I don’t want to. But I would also say: do it unprepared—then prepare in the process. I’ve come to understand that I’m naturally never ready for almost anything, yet I keep putting myself in these positions. Because if I wait until I’m ready, I won’t do it. You’re never truly ready.

But if you’re a quick learner, if you’re passionate, and if you’re disciplined, you can learn while doing. That does not mean incompetence. That is innovation. You’re innovative, you’re quick, you’re smart, and you’re learning how to move with the changing of the tides. That’s adaptability—one of the most important features of any living thing.

And always remember to ask for help. There is pride in pretending you can afford something when you can’t. If you can’t afford it, say you can’t afford it, and get someone who can. Collaborate. Collaboration is key. You have to be a people person as well.

The link of the film is below by the way. It’s going to be a very interesting year for me on Substack because now that I’m healed from the various mental traumas that held me back, I’m interested in seeing how joyful and inspired my writing is about to be. Not that I need to inspire or give advice—but I will be honest, and I will share experiences. Because shared experiences have helped me, and who am I to stop myself from helping someone else.